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It was one of the most challenging roles I’ve ever had (physically, mentally and emotionally). The Roxy Theatre burned down while I worked the morning shift as a teleprompter. These clearly delinquent teenagers, making fun of the whole concept of Purgatory, with a badly designed sign. And finally, a sci-fi-esque depiction of Catholic Purgatory… : Fifteen minutes late for work, but staying an hour late. From what I can tell, Chuck Ragan (the nicest punk rocker in the world) does not “should himself”, he just does things that “smell like good living.” Many of his Instagram posts include bounty from his garden and home made pickles. It’s about to be smelling like good living around here. “Smelling like good living” stuck in my head all morning. I imagined a dutch oven full of crabapple butter simmering on the stove.

February 2015: I began working at the Edmonton-Beverly-Clareview constituency office as a Caseworker. At the time, my boss was an MLA in the third opposition party in the Alberta Legislature. March 2015: My life continues as Caseworker, Junk Seller, and Girlfriend. (I tend to arrive late and leave late, like a bad dinner guest) AFTER WORK ROUTINE: Helped an old lady find her keys, told her I love her, complained about the cab driver who was mean to her, explained to the taxi company that I never complain about anything ever, cancelled my rehearsal, avoided my bowling league, wrote this… maybe I’ll go home and wrap gifts, make cards out of old magazines, and drink vino!!!!!!!!!! yogurt, raspberries, turkey wrap, cheese stick thingy, bag of fresh veggies, prosciutto and arugula flat bread, several Christmas chocolates, coffee, coffee, coffee, water, water… Most recently, he posted a large quantity of salmon about to be smoked with the caption, “Sealing salmon before the smoker after a 36hr brine bath. “Shoulding oneself” is thinking that one should do something while never getting off the couch.

Despite my internal eye roll, one of the commands exploded from the page, like an unexpected (albeit cheesy) firework: “Get sweaty.” It’s a simple, inappropriate request; however, the words halted my aggressive, wine-fuelled skimming. Inside my sock might be a sea with fish and dolphins swimming free. The stones and dust and rock and sticks and stale bread crust are full of tricks! I didn’t know a dusty rock that found its way inside my sock would juggle, giggle or could talk. She wants nothing more than to perch on magpie nests and whistle to fellow scouts.

I realized (no exaggeration) that I hadn’t been sweaty in over a year. w=580" class="aligncenter wp-image-153" style="margin-top:10px;margin-bottom:10px;" alt="get_sweaty" src="https://gangofsparrows.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/get_sweaty.jpg? w=406&h=461" width="406" height="461" srcset="https://gangofsparrows.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/get_sweaty.jpg? w=406&h=461 406w, https://gangofsparrows.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/get_sweaty.jpg? w=132&h=150 132w, https://gangofsparrows.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/get_sweaty.jpg? w=264&h=300 264w, https://gangofsparrows.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/get_736w" sizes="(max-width: 406px) 100vw, 406px" / Fast forward to today, October tenth, four and a half months after the “get sweaty” incident. So, now I better grab my boot and pull it off to find the loot: a Snowy Owl that likes to hoot or little gnomes that say, “woot woot! ” All the kids you want to know do not have dust inside their toe! They’ve funny feet and eyes and smiles and happy teeth you see for miles. After filling the bird feeders on my deck for five days in a row, a gang of sparrows arrived.

The night I flipped through, “WEIGH LESS BY THE END OF THE WEEK! Seated on my well-loved black leather couch, and with a glass of wine in hand, I started to do some serious skimming.

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PROGRESS: I spent every day for almost three weeks, warming up my voice, using a series of videos from the National Theatre of London. SET BACK: I have a dumb brain – I bought a month pass to World Gym in Fort St. REALIZATION: Set back, bullshit, progress, set back, bullshit, progress, set back, bullshit, progress = normal, normal, normal HOPE: Set back, bullshit, progress, set back, bullshit, progress, set back, bullshit, progress will turn into progress, progress, progress (with the occasional tiny set back). I’m sure that stars and royalty have diamonds, trucks and fish-filled seas. Then, there were Blue Jays, Ravens, Waxwings, Robins, and Hawks.

It was the first time I’ve ever experienced crippling stage fright. I was super duper busy at work too: organizing a community corn roast, arranging involvement for Community League Day, learning my job, etc. ” IMPORTANT TO KNOW: I don’t usually read Women’s Health.



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