Sparks dating review
“I didn’t feel comfortable flirting because my/their friends were there.” “I didn’t feel comfortable flirting because it was at work and I need to act professionally.” These statements, which I hear all the time, reveal a warped understanding of what flirting actually entails.Due to the sexual shame we carry, sexual feelings are often muddled with what I’ll call confusing feelings.
If it were just you, it’d be your fault — but it’s not.
This can make the other person feel overwhelmed by your feelings, since they’re disproportionate to the moment.
When both individuals do this to each other it typically leads to relationships that start hot and end disastrously.
While the first step to being sexy is to simply enjoy the amazing feelings inspired by the endless beauty around you, the second step is to share those appreciative feelings.
This can be scary, especially after a lifetime of cultural programming and past flirting experiences being loaded with the common pitfalls we discussed above.Because these confusing feelings are so often partnered with our attempts to flirt, before we can even talk about what sexual communication is, we have to first untangle the mess of what it isn’t.The first confusing feeling people associate with flirting is anxiety.It’s the fault of a culture that gives a detailed education on how to look sexy or even act in specific sexy ways (talk like this, say that), but fails to teach us how to be a sexual person.